Jampack Vol.1
For Honor For Dinner In this game you hit each other with a sword like a old knight from lord of the rings, but it's not funny like lord of the rings because it doesn't have the hobbit. Dunk: Come on game, just let me play. Let's just go. Ooh! Joining! Nope. Come on you fucking piece of shit. Here we go. This is a good match! One guy with three bots. Alright everybody, let's team team up on the only actual. *snickering* Got 'em. This game is fucking awesome. The fuck, how you all gonna team up on me? Bullshit. No, this' just stupid. This game is fucking stupid. Haw haw haw, Jackie Chan , you cannot face me - oh shit! Ooh, this is getting interesting now. Alright, everybody kill 'em. *laughter* Finally,a fair fight. Now - huh? What is this? Is this a feature? Oh, it's that. *Laughter* You cannot - are you fucking kidding me with - who makes this? Horizon Zero Dawn Horizon Zero Dunk Just like the new Zelda game coming out in three days. Except not even remotely fucking close, what the fuck were they thinking releasing this game so close to Zelda, did they get their fucking marketing guy off of Titanfall 2? Aloy: Fire arrows? '' Other character: ''Once you have the parts, you will meet me there. '' Aloy: ''The Northgate?. Sawtooths? Teresa? '' Solid Snake: ''Psycho Mantis? Off-screen character:'' I've been waiting for this day a long time.'' Aloy:'' You have?'' Dunk: I am just blowing this guy's mind right now. Off-screen character: How are you doing this? '' Dunk: I'm just holding up on the analog stick man. '' Off-screen character: How is this possible? Hitman Hitmin Play as Michael 47, secret agent. To win the game you have to walk around a big ass empty map for hours on end, searching for the can of spaghetti sauce. Dunk: See what I'm saying? It beats the whole game for you. Look, they gave me the spaghetti sauce right off the bat. Now it's just- SPAGHETTI- SPAGHETTI- SPAGHETTI- SPAGHETTI PUNCH! Told you guys this game was fucking eas- SPAGHETTI THROW! SPAGHETTI PUNCH! SPAGHETTI PUNCH! Mission complete. Guard: Are you in any way retarded mister? You need to tell me right now. '' Dunk: Yeah, I'm retarded. Woman: There's a strange man carrying a weapon!'' Guard'': Do we have a description?'' Woman: Bald guy, white, scary eyes. He was in a white buttoned shirt and black trousers. Guard: Stay here, it's safe. I got this. Radio: Command, this is big dog. You copy? Ark Survival Evolved Noah's Ark This adaption takes several dramatic liberties with the source material. Originally the character Noah did not throw his doo-doo at dinosaurs and try to get a sniper rifle the whole time. Dunk: No, no, no. This guy looks fucking stupid. There we go! Now he's fixed. Dammit Richard, be careful with that- oh now look what you've did! Now look what you've did. He's got a fucking big spear coming out of his head. Ok, he's got bigger issues now. Guy: Dunkey, press E on the Dodo. Dunk: What's this? A chicken? Thank you, man. This guy is adorable, I love him. Guy: I'm so glad you like it. It took twelve hours to- Dunk: Alright, let's cook him up. Guy: No, my precious! Fur-Fun don't ever play this, don't even watch this part of the video Dunk: Wow. It looks just like Yooka Laylee, if it was made by a fucking six years old. Oh, that's cool. This guy talks over the entire game.T-That's a nice feature. *3 Minutes Later* Shut the fuck up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Who the fuck wants to watch some fucker talk over a video game. That's not who that is. Good news guys, he stopped talking. Now I can concentrate on how fucking ass this game plays. Assuming Yooka Laylee is a big open empty nothing of a game, it will be 300 times better because it doesn't have this motherfucker talking over the whole fucking ga- LOOK WHO CAME BACK! SHUT THE FUCK UP Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy For Honor (good version) Dunk: When I first came to you I was but the learner. Now I am a fucking dinosaur in Star Wars. Darth Tyrannus. You're gonna have to shoot better than that to shoot me, kid! Dunk: Jump down here. See what happens. Padawan: Oh shit. Dunk: Not like that though. Padawan: I'm getting the hang of it. This jump, over here Dunk: There you go. Yup. Nope. That's wrong. Padawan: Alright, I'm coming up. Thank fucking god. This took so fucking long. Dunk: You did it. You did it, man. Now get the fuck outta here. Don't you ever come back. Padawan: What was that shit?! Dunk: Okay, just stay there fluppy. Bye bye. Han Cholo: What? Dunk: Nonononono, w-w-w-whoawhoahwoa. Han Cholo: What? Dunk: God dammi- Diddy's Kong-Quest Dunk: Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fu- Are you fucking kidding- Are you fu- Are you fucking ki- Are you fucking kidding me?Are you fu- Are you fu- You fucking- Fuckin'. Are you fucking kidding me right- You only live once Dunk: Now this one is even harder than Donkey Kong. Because in this one, you only get one life. Then it's over. Then I-I guess you have to restart the whole game. So you gotta be careful. You really gotta- Jermaine: I don't feel too well Dunk: Aw fuck. That it? Oh, there's "continue". Okay, here w- huh? Woman: J-Jermaine? Oh my god! Paramedic: Well, there was nothing we could have done. Dunk: What? Paramedic: Let's just hope the cops get the bastard who did this. Other paramedic: Right. Dunk: Can I play now? Do I get to play anymore? Cop: You're hereby under arrest for the murder of Jermaine Neilsson. Dunk: Yeeeah! Monster: I swear, he just walked into me and then fell down dead! I didn't do nothin'! Dunk: Yeah fucking right. Tell it to the judge. Alright let's restart now. There's no, uh... there's no continue button anymore. Can I refresh maybe? Get to p- Blackwake British Dunk: Ah, yes. It appears we are on a pirate ship of sorts. Ah, yes. It appears we've been fired upon by another pirate ship! Ah, yes. Don't worry, boys. This is an unsinkable ship. Just like the titanic. Captain: Well. It's not gay if you're at sea for several days. And you need some companionship. British Dunk: Ah, yes. It appears we've been boarded by another ship! Aah, yes. It appears pirates are coming on board and killing all of us! Interesting indeed! Metal Gear Solid 3 Snake Eater HD Edition Category:Jampack